Posted by: maddrcliche | April 5, 2011

I want to play THAT game…

So the Dynasty Warriors formula hasn’t really changed much over the years. Sure, there have been gameplay tweaks and new systems and weapons and now they have enemy cavalry units and such but the basic formula of you being one really powerful officer cleaving through hordes of soldiers who only rarely do anything but stand next to you waiting for you to kill them is pretty much the same. However, the opening cinematics have gotten more extreme with each incarnation.

The first thing you see when you fire up Dynasty Warriors 7 is Zhao Yun finding a baby on the battlefield, then suddenly he’s riding away on a horse with the baby while about a thousand guys are chasing him on horseback. They are trying to stab him and he’s flipping around on horseback, jumping all over the place, just destroying this entire army. His horse falls and he starts running about 100 miles an hour along a wall, this guy throws an iron ball on a chain at him and he catches it and goes spinning through the air. Suddenly he’s jumping down a waterfall and he somehow plants his feet on the flowing waterfall and starts sliding down it. Some enemy soldiers do the same and they start spear fighting while defying the laws of gravity and sliding down a waterfall. Holy shit. Can I play that game?

Why do so many games have cutscenes where crazy shit happens that sometimes isn’t even attempted to be replicated in gameplay? Like in Metal Gear Solid 3, Snake can take out a whole group of guys with CQC without them firing a shot, and you can’t really pull off those crazy moves in-game. Though there was one time I stripped Snake down bare-chested and ran around with only his knife slitting guys throats while they shot the hell out of me. Don’t know how I survived, it was on the second hardest difficulty. Or in Devil May Cry where a cut scene will take over to show you doing lots of bad ass stuff you’d rather be playing out yourself.

Anyway, Dynasty Warriors 7 is pretty rad. It follows the actual story of RoTK a little closer and is a lot more involved and dramatic than past games. The story mode is actually pretty cool so far. You pick a kingdom instead of an individual warrior and play as different warriors from mission to mission, following instead the overall stories of Wei, Wu, Shu, or the new Jin dynasty. The new art design is… very anime inspired, to say the least. I like it but I can see some people being turned off by it. Google image search Zhong Hui or Lu Xun (make sure to specify Dynasty Warriors 7 when searching Lu Xun since he’s not a new character) and you’ll see what I mean.

Oh, and there’s a spear that when you use it in a combo causes rainbow-colored lightning to come down from the sky and strike your opponents. I think that would pretty much be the point I give up if I were one of the generic soldiers.

“Okay, that guy over there can fell like 100 guys with a single arrow and that guy can wield two halberds at once, that other guy is rolling around like a boulder… I can accept that. These things happen in our kingdom full of powerful people. I thought maybe with strategy and enough numbers we could overcome them. But that dude has a spear that causes rainbow-colored lightning to fry people who mess with him. I’m out.”



  1. It does seem that they use cutscenes to cover their own games short comings.

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